I love the phrase “Love yourself, everything else will follow” primarily because I can claim my love for self without running the risk of being called a narcissist. My faith thankfully runs on saner waters also. I have and overly-talked about low self-esteem. I used to push myself to stand in the poor-relatives queue while secretly knowing that I belong with the normal people. For a teenager with an everlasting identity crisis, I had people insisting that I better assert myself before it is too late.
One day, I received a well-sounding advice from another very frustrated poor-relative. Since I try not to get too personal, I will not name names here. So this poor-relative told me that I am going to be like cow dung (we people are not very cheerful even metaphor-wise). My fresh, self-pitying self is soon going to dry up and get tossed around, eventually end up in a furnace or the trash can. It was a very bad example but it opened my doors to self-acceptance. Now, everyone knows that acceptance is just a few paces away from tolerance, like and then love.
Even at the darkest moments, I have learned not to give myself up and say “yes, I am a failure, judge me.” People are all not sweet. Some of them would actually wake up and follow your advice. Most of them would probably be in the process of judging already. The curve to showing your well-censored finger lies between resisting the urge to hide under your bed and shrugging off what they think about you with a sexy shimmy.
When you feel the need for self-pity clouding over you, just think of things that are nice about you. Look back at things you have experienced, the kind others cannot even dream about: good or bad, they matter to you. Remember that these things make you a unique cookie in a world filled with nut-jobs and freaks. Lately, I have been believing the theory that self-love works on many levels: when you feel depressed, when you feel aimless, when you are overwhelmed and oh, when you are PMSing. You don’t need binge-eating or midnight sniffle calls to your agony aunt to be assured. Love yourself, everything will follow.
Oh and about the other poor-relative, I don’t know if they followed what they preached but I think it is my duty to send some virtual good thoughts to them. So here it is, in blog form.